Progress and Resilience

After a month full of struggles and hardships I'm finally beginning to see the fruits of my labor and the progress in my learners daily lives at school.  If you have been following along with my blog, you may remember me mentioning the extreme amount of violence I saw in my learners when I first started at Steenkamp. I used to come home so discouraged and often pushed to tears because I was so upset.  I had never seen so much violence among children before and felt so utterly helpless.  That's where resilience comes in.  No matter how broken down I felt, I still made it to school the next day.  No matter how nervous I was I still came in with a positive attitude.  No matter how many times I had to do it, I pulled children off of each other and corrected their wrongs.  I asked my children to explain their violence, I asked them to talk about their issues out loud, I asked them to explain their actions and their thinking, and although it was hard to see in the moment, I now see progress.  My learners now try to talk before they hit.  They know that I will never hit them and that I won't tolerate such violence in my room.  I still see them struggle with this issue every day but thats the great part! They are struggling with their violence, they don't automatically beat their neighbors when an issue arises, and I can see them thinking about their options even when they look angry.  My learners are trying to provide a safer learning environment and because of it I'm seeing progress.  My learners are actually learning now! I'm not saying school is perfect.  I still see a lot of violence, and I still see a lot of work that needs to be done on both the learners and the teachers parts, but to actually see progress is more than encouraging.  I have been able to talk about one subject for a whole hour with my students and play games, sing songs and participate in activities, when I first started I couldn't keep their attention for more than three minutes. I now see my students participating and getting excited about their learning and it warms my heart.
My leaving this next Friday is now very bittersweet.  I am so excited to come home and be with my friends and family and my class back home, but I have seen such progress and now I have to say goodbye.  I have to say goodbye to my 200 4th graders who give me hugs and high fives after every period.  I have to say goodbye to all the little girls who write me notes at break that are filled with hearts and "I love you" messages. I have to say goodbye to all the boys who were to cool to hug me on the first day but now seek me out to give me a hug before I leave when school is over.  This trip has taught me so much about love, patience and resilience that I know I am a much better prepared teacher, but I also now know all the hardships that come with your students and with the job itself. I have one more week so I'm sure I'll get at least one more blog post in.  I know that this week is going to be the hardest by far for me but I am so excited. This place has already made such an impression on my heart i'm sure this impression will only continue to grow.